I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize