it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
