I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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