woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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