I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
