Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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