I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If its not for food we ain't going out.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
