; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
