I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
