My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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