you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Couch. On fire.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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