You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
