We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
