just tell him i said nine months
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
