Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
