just tell him i said nine months
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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