It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize