he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
