You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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