Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Please don't give away my fajitas
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
