Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
