You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
