I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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