My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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