Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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