I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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