I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
