I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
