Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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