If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
