Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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