We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
