I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
