My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
