you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
