I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
