In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
