google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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