I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
