I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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