Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
