Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
