Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She's the barista slut.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
