wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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