No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
