absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
