I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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