so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
