Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
