all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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