Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
