no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
