Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
