i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Randomize
