Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
