when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
