ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
