the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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