So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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