well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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