Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
