I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i came on her dog
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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