i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
