OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
