so explain again why im purple
no
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
