If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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