I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
