I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
