We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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