my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
