just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
