hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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