at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
