Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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