I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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