You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
