Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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