who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Too much gin, very little bucket
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
