On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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