but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
