TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
