I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
