shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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